brandy snifters

we should get snifters and use them for sparks and vodka

Drunk in Cowtown

Go read more drunk adventures from me over at http://uweekly.com/cowtown

I'm bound to get drunk at some point.

Drunk in Cowtown

Go read more drunk adventures from me over at http://uweekly.com/cowtown

I'm bound to get drunk at some point.

Comparison: Dumb Sober Friends to Smart Us Drunks

here's an example of jason and I's superior intellect when drunk against that of a sober girl.

[note, most girls have tiny brains as it is, so this is not a fair comparison]

here's how a conversation started. me and latimer, both very drunk.

April: corey, tell me a story, i'm bored
Me: there once was a guy named corey
Me: who did his roommates ex girlfriend
Me: the end

good start.

then we progress to....

April: that christiana chick?
Me: yea
April: yeah, she ain't makin' em
Me: be nice, someone might say that about you
April: WHO would EVER say that about ME?!!!
Me: probably people who have seen you naked
Me: if i was guessing
April: wtf??
April: well i guess you can just NOT get w/jason's ex then
April: shit face

then i remind april of who lives in this house

Me: who would want to see latimer's desktop?
Me: tingley is printing shit off his comp
April: off jason's??
Me: THERES TWO JASON GOD DAMN IT

[tingley was fast asleep at the time]

April: tingley is printing stuff of latimer's computer
Me: yes
April: then he's probably seen me naked too
April: as far as i know, i'm still his desktop

[if you havent figured out yet, april gets off on sending people naked desktop pics, hey, lets have fun with her]

Me: wow those copied fast
April: what??
Me: good thing this is the first i have heard about this
April: what copied???
Me: otherwise i wouldnt have got any work done the last two weeks
Me: i assume
April: what are you talking about?!!!!!!!!
Me: god!
Me: so impossible to talk to you!
Me: i have to explain everything!
April: you sound like fucking jason
Me: oh by the way this is jason
April: that would be why
Me: im printing shit off of coreys comp
April: wtf?!
April: have you been talking to me the whole time?
Me: uh, yeah

[uh, no]

many minutes later.....


Me: oh this is corey
April: WTF?!
April: STOP IT!!!!!!!
April: i hate you all!!
Me: so, we gonna do it now?
April: so i'll be over in like 10 min. k?
Me: make it 5
Me: bitch
April: btw, ask jason if he ever found my blood on his bed
Me: this is jason
April: wtf?
Me: and wtf?!
April: you told me it was corey
Me: yea so
Me: i lied wtf did you do!
April: i TOLD you i thought i bled on your bed
April: after i changed your sheets..
April: i told u the next morning & you were like ewww
Me: i was still drunk
April: oh haha
Me: and why would you tell me that now on coreys comp
April: i dunno b/c i figured you were still in there

[nope]

finally, the true reveal....

April: could have fooled me!
Me: ugh
Me: fuck this
April: well wtf do you want?!
Me: you to come over here and do me
April: u just want me to come have sex w/you?
Me: oh and this is corey by the way
April: ok... i'm getting sick of this
Me: can we just do this for 15 more minutes
Me: theres nothing on tv until 2am


this has been an analytical probe into the level of intelligence of a sober girl as contrasted againsted that of two drunk men. thank you.

The Eagle Has Landed

Welcome to The Drunk Tank. This is a bold experiment that began in Jason Latimer's head. Many times we have incredible, life-saving, innovative ideas when we are drunk. Ideas and thoughts that could change the course of time, space and rock and roll. By our count, we should have made at least a cool million by now if we had implemented any of these plans, so what's the problem.

We forget the ideas.

If we write them on a peice of paper, it invariably gets lost. If it isn't lost, we can't read it in the morning. Same problem with voice memos, it's much harder to understand your own drunk voice the next day.

This blog hopes to be the solution. Simply stated, when we have been drinking and come up with what we believe is a good idea, we'll post it here for review and scrutiny by all.