Comparison: Dumb Sober Friends to Smart Us Drunks

here's an example of jason and I's superior intellect when drunk against that of a sober girl.

[note, most girls have tiny brains as it is, so this is not a fair comparison]

here's how a conversation started. me and latimer, both very drunk.

April: corey, tell me a story, i'm bored
Me: there once was a guy named corey
Me: who did his roommates ex girlfriend
Me: the end

good start.

then we progress to....

April: that christiana chick?
Me: yea
April: yeah, she ain't makin' em
Me: be nice, someone might say that about you
April: WHO would EVER say that about ME?!!!
Me: probably people who have seen you naked
Me: if i was guessing
April: wtf??
April: well i guess you can just NOT get w/jason's ex then
April: shit face

then i remind april of who lives in this house

Me: who would want to see latimer's desktop?
Me: tingley is printing shit off his comp
April: off jason's??
Me: THERES TWO JASON GOD DAMN IT

[tingley was fast asleep at the time]

April: tingley is printing stuff of latimer's computer
Me: yes
April: then he's probably seen me naked too
April: as far as i know, i'm still his desktop

[if you havent figured out yet, april gets off on sending people naked desktop pics, hey, lets have fun with her]

Me: wow those copied fast
April: what??
Me: good thing this is the first i have heard about this
April: what copied???
Me: otherwise i wouldnt have got any work done the last two weeks
Me: i assume
April: what are you talking about?!!!!!!!!
Me: god!
Me: so impossible to talk to you!
Me: i have to explain everything!
April: you sound like fucking jason
Me: oh by the way this is jason
April: that would be why
Me: im printing shit off of coreys comp
April: wtf?!
April: have you been talking to me the whole time?
Me: uh, yeah

[uh, no]

many minutes later.....


Me: oh this is corey
April: WTF?!
April: STOP IT!!!!!!!
April: i hate you all!!
Me: so, we gonna do it now?
April: so i'll be over in like 10 min. k?
Me: make it 5
Me: bitch
April: btw, ask jason if he ever found my blood on his bed
Me: this is jason
April: wtf?
Me: and wtf?!
April: you told me it was corey
Me: yea so
Me: i lied wtf did you do!
April: i TOLD you i thought i bled on your bed
April: after i changed your sheets..
April: i told u the next morning & you were like ewww
Me: i was still drunk
April: oh haha
Me: and why would you tell me that now on coreys comp
April: i dunno b/c i figured you were still in there

[nope]

finally, the true reveal....

April: could have fooled me!
Me: ugh
Me: fuck this
April: well wtf do you want?!
Me: you to come over here and do me
April: u just want me to come have sex w/you?
Me: oh and this is corey by the way
April: ok... i'm getting sick of this
Me: can we just do this for 15 more minutes
Me: theres nothing on tv until 2am


this has been an analytical probe into the level of intelligence of a sober girl as contrasted againsted that of two drunk men. thank you.